Untitled.

Here I sit, on a Friday night, wrapped in a blanket and watching series on my laptop. What has happened to me? What happened to the club hopping, drug snorting, whild-child of the past? Care free and painting the town red. Oh right, I grew up. I guess it happens but this isn't what I was expecting. Then again, I don't know what I was expecting from this new maturity but this certainly wasn't it. 

I saw a picture recently and it had some or other quote on it about being lonely because you hate everybody and not because your standards are too high. I have to disagree with that. I don't hate everybody, I try to give everybody the benefit of the doubt, but I still find myself sitting along in bed with the people I most want to be with barely even aware of my existence. I know right now this just sounds like a pity party for one but this is how I feel. I constantly stare at my phone wishing that little red light will flash and the message will be from somebody I care about. 

I always liked to tell myself that I didn't mind being alone and until recently I seriously felt that way. Now, on the other hand, I think I may need to retract that statement. All I really want is someone to cuddle up to. We don't even need to speak, I just want someone. Does that make me needy or does that just make me a normal person that wants some sort of company?